Nursing a corpse

I heard that somewhere some people had pleaded guilty to being innocent, the judge declared it all as mistrial but they appealed. Turns out they were all very appealing. Happenstance. Meanwhile in hospital the staff were very busy, there were more corpses than usual all requiring intensive care. In the gardens tight-fisted green fingered men and women waged war against the bugs that in some small way allowed the food and pollination chain to function efficiently and effectively. A progress report on their time management skills was prepared but unfortunately it was submitted too late to be considered. In the burger bar the vegetarian chef chopped up beef and sun-dried  onions. The beef cried whilst the onions just fell apart. It was nearly the end when the deep fat friar in the monastery was declared to be terminally shallow on account of the many chips resting on it's shoulder, then we all just pleaded guilty and that was that. The sentence was short and improper as it contained neither a verb nor an adverb.